Hypocrisy is a counterfeit persona; it is a public performance of acting good, but that good is false because it is self-serving. “Goodness” of this kind is deceptive and often succeeds because most of us are so absorbed in our own daily fare that we do not spend much time analyzing the reasons why others act as they do.

I would suggest that there is a very good reason to spend time analyzing why others act as they do. It is a form of truth seeking to spend the time to understand who is genuinely concerned about us and who has other motives. The quest for authenticity is vital in one’s decision-making process. Whether one chooses to be guided by the counsel of one person versus another, how we decide whom we want to be friends with, and why we deem to disengage from relationships with people who do not value us, are some scenarios that are guided by a desire to affiliate with those who have our best interests at heart.

Perhaps there is no time more deserving of this sort of introspection than when an autistic individual transitions from childhood to their adult life. At this time of change for individuals and families it can be very challenging to find the right organizations, professionals, friends and family members who genuinely have the best interest of the autistic individual at heart. Some will act as if they do, but then there are things that happen to make one question their motivations. It is disturbing and eye-opening to discover that a trusted organization, family member or professional is more interested in their own agenda or needs rather than what is best for the autistic adult who is relying upon them.

Those on the spectrum who can speak for themselves, particularly those in the self-advocacy community, question the motives of organizations who use prominent autistics to bolster their status. Parents of adult autistic children often feel let down by agencies and professionals who are supposedly acting on behalf of their family but do not take their child’s unique story into account. There are parents too, who put their own needs or frustrations ahead of what is best for their autistic adult child.

In each of our lives we will face crossroads. Instead of looking at these times of change as frightening and paralyzing, there is another more empowering way to approach this. If one strives to seek authenticity using the tools of one’s intelligence and intuition it can lead to finding organizations, individuals and communities of support.

But how will one know whom to trust? It is a process requiring a recipe composed of introspection and experience. Introspection about one’s own truth at the crossroads and experience through direct or actual and indirect or observational encounters with others.

A first step is to honestly look in the mirror and be truthful with oneself about where one is now and where one wants to be in the future. It is in more concrete terms about creating a personal roadmap. Once one has a grasp of his/her own truth than that will be the guiding force in finding organizations and people who are aligned with one’s truth.

The effort of seeking one’s truth and aligning oneself with supporters who act with authenticity towards us and in the world takes work. It will at times be very difficult because it may mean letting go of people and institutions we relied upon only to discover that they were hypocritical. However this is really not a bad thing because they weren’t truly there for us anyway. When only authentic supporters remain there is less stress, less hurt, less disappointment and more joy in the journey.