Welcome John Goldfarb, Our New Intern and Blog Editor

Summer Intern and Blog Editor, John Goldfarb

Summer Intern and Blog Editor, John Goldfarb

The Daniel Jordan Fiddle Foundation is excited to introduce you to our new intern, John Goldfarb who will be taking over as the Editor of our Blog for the summer. We asked John to introduce himself and to share his focus for the Blog in the coming weeks…

Hi everyone: I am John Goldfarb, a huge Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Lakers, New York Yankees, Rutgers Football, and Wisconsin Badgers basketball sports fan. I am also a recent graduate from County College of Morris in New Jersey. I will be attending Ramapo College,,, also located in New Jersey, this fall. I am a communications major. My interest in communications is sports journalism.

I’m very excited to be The Daniel Jordan Fiddle (DJF) Foundation blog editor this summer because this is an excellent opportunity to get to know more about the DJF Foundation as well as the people who help this organization out in numerous great ways.

Before I got into writing and editing articles, I played four years of football at Livingston High School. My team won a state championship my sophomore year and I had the opportunity to be on the Giants stadium field for the game. From my experience in football; I understand what it is like to be a part of something special. I get that same special feeling being a part of an organization like DJF.

Before joining the DJF Foundation, I spent my county college days working for the Youngtown Edition Newspaper. This paper is the on campus newspaper of the County College of Morris. I served as the college’s sports editor. While working for the Youngtown, I interviewed athletes, coaches and students from various teams or who were just around for sports related articles.

When interviewing the dedicated people affiliated with the all volunteer DJF Foundation, I will ask questions such as, “what convinced you to join the DJF Foundation?” or “how have you been impacted by Autism?”. If you have any ideas for questions for our Board members, self-advocates or collaborative partners of the DJF Foundation, feel free to email me at jdgold93@verizon.net.

I hope you will find my blog interesting as together we get to know the great people at the DJF Foundation a little better.

We are back…Missed you All…read our latest post from Amy Gravino, DJFF Self-Advocate Leader

Time passes so quickly, and we have missed you. But now Linda and The Daniel Jordan Fiddle Foundation are back. We have decided that our first new post should be one written by an adult advisor to our organization, Amy Gravino. There are a couple of good reasons for this:
1) The Daniel Jordan Fiddle Foundation mission is reliant on the thoughts, needs, ideas and issues that affect adults on the spectrum, and all we do is guided by this;
2) Many adults living with Autism have certain preferences for activities, interests, pursuits that make them experts in that area and that inspire them to live fulfilling lives—in short, they find enjoyment doing these things;
3) From time to time we will highlight examples of these activities, pursuits, interests etc. that bring joy to an individual on the spectrum to hopefully inspire others to find their own “joy in the journey” (which is a raison d’être for our blog).

So without any further comment by us…here is Amy’s unedited by us, blog about something that brings happiness to her life—-

“I Left My Heart In Davy Jones’ Locker”
by Amy Gravino

//Here we come, walkin’ down the street…//

I can remember the smile that stretched across my face the first time I heard those lyrics from the television theme song for The Monkees, and saw the images of four fun-loving boys jumping and playing on my screen.

The Monkees—Micky Dolenz, Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith, and my then-favorite, Davy Jones—were as new and present to me as any other musical act that hit the scene when I was in the seventh grade. I had no cognizance of them as a band from the 1960s, out of a place and from an era that was long past.

But for a nearly-teenage girl with Asperger’s Syndrome walking the junior high school hallways of 1996, falling in love with a band that hadn’t been popular in thirty years did very little to enhance my already-lowly social standing.

I remember looking for pictures of the Monkees online, mainly on Monkees.net, which was the only Monkees website I could find at the time. I printed the pictures out, one by one, and proudly hung them on the inside of my locker door. Every time I opened it and saw their smiling faces staring back at me, it was as though I had four new friends, and the loneliness and self-hatred that I felt would abate, even just momentarily.

And when my classmates tore the pictures down, laughing, jeering as they threw them into a nearby garbage can, I would go home, print them again, and carefully re-hang them in their rightful place.

The years following high school were spent discovering myself, but it was not until graduate school—where I had the good fortune to have a professor who was a big Monkees fan—that I re-discovered The Monkees.

With a more mature outlook and a new favorite Monkee (hello, Peter Tork), I began to re-watch the television show and listen to the Monkees’ music, and more than anything, wanted to connect with fellow fans, something I had been longing for since I could remember.

Even though I was thrilled to see the Monkees in concert for my 18th birthday in 2001 (in their “Threekees” combination of Micky, Peter, and Davy, but no Mike), I was still convinced that I was the only person my age who liked them.

But the Internet had progressed dramatically since then, and I was thrilled beyond measure to discover the Monkees “fandom”—a huge group of Monkees fans of all ages in various online communities, most notably on Facebook.

The Monkees were no longer touring as a group at the time, but they were performing as individuals, along with their respective bands. Being that Peter had shifted into the coveted “Favorite Monkee” spot somewhere before that 2001 show, it was he whose solo act I first sought out.

Another change that the passing years had brought was a driver’s license, which helped to facilitate my many concert adventures to come. It all began in the summer of 2009, when I traveled all the way to Connecticut and saw Peter with his cleverly-named band, Shoe Suede Blues, for the first time ever.

And though I did not know it then, at that show I crossed paths with the girl who would later become my best and dearest friend.

As I followed the band from show to show, names that I had seen online soon became familiar faces, and in several cases, developed into deep and meaningful friendships. In my younger years, the Internet was where I went to find friends in the first place; but now, I was using it to keep in touch with the people I met at these concerts who lived a considerable distance away from me.

Missteps were of course made, just as they were when I first began to make friends after high school. It’s entirely too easy to place one’s trust in the wrong people, and in 2009, a 12-year friendship with someone I’d had as a best friend since high school was falling apart. That coupled with my excitement over meeting new friends through the Monkees left me in a particularly vulnerable state, and I could not see that one of my new “friends” was harming me without my knowing it.

It was only through trial and a great deal of error that I finally was able to cast these unhealthy friendships aside, and to free myself from blame and the belief that I had done something wrong. To my everlasting gratefulness, however, in place of those came several of the most emotionally fulfilling and happy-making friendships I have ever had.

One such friendship that I had forged was with a woman who lived in England, but who came to the U.S. to attend one of the Peter Tork shows to which I frequently traveled. We’d spoken online previously, but it was at that show where we met face-to-face for the first time.

Six months later, this woman and I ended up starting a Monkees website together. We were both writers, and had met on a forum for writers and readers of Monkees fan fiction, and after the sudden disappearance of a very popular Monkees fan fiction website, came up with the idea to start our own.

In the summer of 2010, Naked Persimmon—named for the title of a song sung by Michael Nesmith in the Monkees’ 1969 television special, 33 1/3 Revolutions per Monkee—was born. Three years later, the site boasts a Fan Art section, an enormous photo gallery, a section of Monkees quotes and anecdotes, and has become one of the most popular Monkees websites on the Internet, complete with several social media sites that we use to stay connected with our fans.

When I think of that 14-year-old girl watching The Monkees on her television, I know for a fact that she never dreamed that she’d one day be running a website about them. I know that she thought she would always be alone in loving The Monkees, and that she would never find friends with whom she could share that love.

A few days ago, I got together and had dinner with two friends that I have made through The Monkees. We sat there chatting, telling stories, laughing; and our waitress remarked at what a good time we seemed to be having. In that moment, I felt my heart swell almost to bursting, simply because that moment was one I never imagined could be possible.

When I became a fan of the Monkees, they became a part of me.  Despite the initial disapproval of so many, I did not stop being a fan, or change who I was just to fit in. I waited, keeping them close to my heart in that special place that no one else could touch, and over time, finally found what I had been looking for.

The Monkees—Micky, Peter, and Davy—reunited in 2011, and I had the privilege of seeing them three times on their summer tour. I can remember sitting next to my best friend Lynsey in the arena at Mohegan Sun casino, and turning to her with a lump in my throat:

“I have always wanted this: To have a best friend to go see The Monkees with in concert. Right now, my inner 15-year-old is jumping for joy.”

//Oh, what can it mean…to a daydream believer and a homecoming queen…//

Summer is Here…Managing These Lazy, Crazy Days!

When I was a kid and the last school assembly was over, the jubilant school bell sounded and my friends and I dashed from the building as if our pants were on fire! Years later when my children entered school and I prepared the final brown bag lunches for that last time I sang as I spread peanut butter on sandwich bread, “No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks,” hoping to evoke smiles (but actually it was more like, “Mom you are so embarrassing!”). In my personal history, the end of the school year was always heralded with excitement, fun and a sense of freedom from the routines that endlessly fill the days and nights of school age children.

As a parent of school age children, there were other thoughts too like, “how am I going to keep everyone busy, happy and endure the continuous chant of ‘there’s nothing to do around here?'” Ah, summer and parenthood!

For those of you living with Autism and parents of children and adults on the spectrum, summer has its own set of challenges that include the above mentioned ,and then some. Structure is like a big, fluffy beach towel to most people on the spectrum in the summer and this is in sharp contrast to the lazy, hazy days many of us envision. In my experience, it is often up to parents and for some adults, their support team, to devise a structured day for the person living with Autism. It is my experience that although this may sound onerous and yet another “job” to do, it is truly worthwhile and will lead to a much more pleasant summer for everyone.

Here are are some tips to think about as you remove the cover from the barbecue, plant garden flowers or wring your hands together in utter fear and frustration as summer begins:
1) Talk to the person living with Autism and find out what they would like to do this summer…if they are not too verbal than observe what they seem to enjoy and like. All summer plans should be person-centered and derive from the interests of the individual involved;

2) Make a list of all favored activities;

3) Make a list of household chores and responsibilities the individual can do independently and add these to your list;

4) Make a list of household/life skills that the individual can add to their repertoire (not too many items) that family members and support helpers can help him or her master and add these to the list;

5) Ask the individual if they would like to take a trip this summer and perhaps the entire family can join in or if this is not doable then maybe suggest a few ideas for day trips and add these to the list;

6) Think of a few weekly community based outings that a family member or support helper can go with the individual to do such as grocery shopping, errand running like bank and post office and add these to the list;

7) Plan unstructured time…like time for the person to listen to music in their room or work of the computer or whatever they enjoy and add that to the list;

8) Plan outdoor time that could be learning to swim, taking walks or hiking…whatever the person likes or if they are willing to be exposed to something new, that is even better;

9) Plan for one night a week to be something special (a reward for all) like going out for frozen yogurt or a barbecue and add that to the list;

10) Invite school or work friends over on the weekend or from time to time so the individual can socialize with their friends and add this to the list….

As you see the list can include a whole array of items and it should! Then print out a calendar or use one you have and each day create the plan. It would be great to have Mondays have certain activities that happen every Monday etc. so as to have a predictable and manageable for the person structure, but do the best you can as this is not always possible.

If you are an adult on the spectrum, I think it is great if you can do this for yourself…it will really get you going rather than waiting for random things to happen. It will also help you to organize your summer and to have plans to look forward to with friends and family.

Summer is filled for most of us with some lazy, some crazy, some boring and some forever memorable days and with some thought and a little planning, this summer can be your best one ever! I hope it is!