Begin Again…Today!

Begin again…today!  What a freeing and invigorating thought that should be a morning mental mantra, but is it easier said than done? At this time of year as children head back to school, adults shed their summer clothes replacing them with business attire and full agendas, and Mother Nature shifts the season, life can seem as if    daily routines and challenges leave no room for personal choice. We have a lot to do and a lot of people telling us what needs to be done. How do we break free from the pattern of being that feels tirelessly restrictive?

Recently I was in a near fatal car crash on the Atlantic City Expressway. I was a passenger in a car that was in the right-hand lane going the speed limit.  Suddenly, and without warning, a car bolted from the median of the highway directly aimed at us, crashed into our car, sending our vehicle down a ravine into a tree. After the pounding force and cacophonous clatter of metal there was clear silence. As I sat in this silence, airbags blocking me from the shattered windshield, I felt strangely washed in calm.  I had survived and so had the driver of the car I was in. That was all that mattered. We had survived, and G-d had given us a chance in a very dramatic and unforeseen moment to begin again.

Rabbi Laura Geller, in an excerpt I read today, writes about Rosh HaShanah and the meaning of this season’s Jewish holiday that celebrates the anniversary of the creation of the world, “Your book of life doesn’t begin on Rosh HaShanah…it began when you were born…and the message of Rosh HaShanah is that everything can be made new again, that much of your book is written every day—by the choices you make.” If one believes that at birth one’s book of life is already written and sealed, Geller says that “you get to edit it, decide what parts to emphasize and remember, and maybe even which parts you want to leave behind. Shanah Tova means both a good year, and a good change. Today you can change the rest of your life. It is never too late.” I believe this message is universal and resounds in every faith.

Begin again…today! It is a simple and stunning thought. Life presents each of us with many obstacles and challenges and so many unexpected twists and turns. One’s life can change in the flash of a minute, or can wear one down in a slow, painful grind.  We often can control nothing about our lives except one vital and critical thing that is perhaps greater than anything that can be thrown at us—it is our power of choice. We can choose to begin again, to keep marching, to keep fighting the good fight, and even more, we can choose to live the life we have with the knowledge that is right in front of us taught by the mother of all mothers, Mother Nature…after the storm there will be calm, after the rain the sun will shine, after disaster there will be rejuvenation. Begin Again…today!

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Do Holidays Get You Down?

We are smack in the middle of the holiday season 2013.  Thanksgiving and hopefully its leftovers are finished.  The wax has been peeled off of menorahs throughout the world, and in some community squares and shop windows fully lighted ones still adorn.  Christmas trees have been decorated with lovely ornaments, and one of the most spectacular ones in Rockefeller Center, New York City is ablaze with colorful lights that delight thousands of shoppers and tourists.  In a few weeks, more thousands of people will decorate themselves for New Year’s eve in Times Square, and everyone, everywhere will bid 2013 goodbye to welcome in a fresh new year.

It is nothing new to remark that all of this fanfare, and the obligatory shopping, overeating, overindulging etc. can get old and can make even the most merry among us want to curl up in bed and never leave our cozy nest. Even if you do not feel this way, you probably know someone who does.

People living with Autism are no different than anyone else during the holidays. For some it is the happiest time of the year and for others it is a completely dreaded misery.  It is important to understand, no matter how one individually feels about the holidays, others may not share your view, and as a caring person, one should try to empathize.  It probably does more good to be supportive rather than to try to drag another person over to your point of view.  So, if Susie hates the holidays and you love them, don’t try to convince her to be a gleeful girl, let her be a subdued Susie—in another words, be supportive. (Consider that supportiveness to be a very wonderful holiday gift to her!)  Of course invite her and include her in your holiday plans too, but be understanding if she says no.  This works the other way too of course, so if Paul is Mr. Holidays, don’t tear down his tinsel.

One way to cope with holiday doldrums is to understand your own personal expectations. An idea is to write down what you hope the holidays will be like for you: who you will share New Year’e eve with; what family members will discuss that may bother you; what you will eat and drink, for instance.  This may help you manage expectations by preparing you in advance for what may come up and what you may or may not wish to do.

Regardless of your perspective about the holidays, it is something we all have to go through as members of our society, like it or not. The days of December will draw to a close and the page of your holiday chapter 2013 will need to end as you herald in a brand new year of possibilities, promises and pleasures.

Wishing you all you dream for and more in 2014—Your friends at The Daniel Jordan Fiddle FoundationImage