Did you ever notice that some people are naturally outspoken? I sometimes watch in awe as these fearless folks wave their arm up to be recognized at public forums or at meetings and now even in social media. Although at times, we less outspoken souls roll our eyes or wince when the floodgates open, often it doesn’t hurt to be bold, and can actually be a good thing. Boldness can help define issues, boldness can give voice to the unspoken and boldness can help fulfill dreams.

Arianna Huffington who wrote,” On Becoming Fearless…in Love, Work and Life,” contends that we can be assertive without sacrificing charm and humor. I fully subscribe to the notion that it is all in the presentation—or at least a good deal is. Part of this is taking what we have to say seriously but not taking ourselves too seriously. And one other thing my grandmother taught me, and maybe yours taught too,” you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

When I think about the most effective and persuasive people I know, they share certain attributes that make them successfully and non-offensively bold. First, they know who they are and what they stand for: call this self-confidence or self-awareness or self-actualized—all are good descriptions. Next, they are not obnoxious or offensive, rather they express themselves without attacking in a calm way that engages. Another attribute these well-spoken speakers possess is their ability to get their point across in a way that is respectful of their audience without coming across superior or humorless. Finally, and maybe most importantly, they do not have to go on forever with their thoughts and skillfully state their case and sit down.

It doesn’t hurt to be bold when we have something we believe in, and we think it through before we speak. At times we do not express our thoughts for fear of being criticized or misunderstood and these are compelling reasons not to be bold. But to not speak and wish you had may have more dire and long lasting consequences. It doesn’t hurt to be bold but like in all things, be mindful of moderation.